Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I am skinny, I have been doing 100 pushups a day for more than a month and am seeing very few results, everything is so unfair, I workout more than anyone I know and am still skinny, why cant I build muscle?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I can count

Do guys prefer big boobs or small boobs? Why?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Why is every human messed up in some way?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Why is Matt Gaetz being investigated but not Sarah (Tim) McBride? Why do we only care about grooming when it's the Republicans doing it?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I can read

What is your review of working in EY?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have a reading level above third grade

What happens to single guys when they get older?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Why aren't there any Indian girls married to Chinese guys but Chinese girls married to Indian guys?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

If English makes 3 additional gender terms to accommodate for XXX, XXY, and XYY people, what would be the most realistic terms for those genders?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I see through liars

Why are white women so hard to date?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Can you tell me something about yourself?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Why are most people broke?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

My dog is 2 weeks old. He's not eating, moving and always sleeping and I can't take him to a vet. What should I do?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I actually pay taxes

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

A Rocket That Crashed on the Moon in 2022 Wasn't Musk's—New Study Reveals Its True Origin - Jason Deegan

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.